Overexcitabilities describe heightened emotional, intellectual, and sensory responses often seen in gifted children, reflecting their deep engagement with the world rather than problematic behavior, and understanding this helps parents and educators provide better support and guidance tailored to each child’s unique intensity.
Ever wondered why some people say being gifted means being “intense”? Overexcitabilities often get thrown around like they’re a must-have trait of gifted kids. But that’s kinda misleading, right? In my experience, blending these two ideas too closely just confuses parents and teachers. Let’s unpack how intensity and giftedness are actually separate — and why it’s so important to know the difference.
What overexcitabilities really mean for gifted kids
Overexcitabilities can sound a bit intense, right? They’re actually heightened responses to stimuli, meaning gifted kids might feel things more deeply or react more strongly than others. But here’s the thing—it’s not a label for “acting out” or being difficult.
Think of it like your brain having a super-sensitive radar. Sometimes it picks up every little beep and boop that others miss. That can be both a blessing and a challenge.
What does this look like in daily life?
- Emotional overexcitability: Your child might cry at a sad story or get irked by what seems like a small disappointment. It’s a deeper emotional capacity, not just being dramatic.
- Imaginational overexcitability: They might daydream in vivid detail or spin creative stories while others are focused on facts. That imagination is a gift, even if it looks like distraction.
- Intellectual overexcitability: Asking endless questions, wanting to explore every “why” — this thirst for knowledge is a hallmark of many gifted kids.
Honestly, it’s like having a volume knob stuck a bit too high on your feelings and thoughts. You might think, “Why is this child so intense?” But intensity isn’t a problem—it’s a sign of their unique wiring.
Understanding these traits lets parents and teachers support gifted kids better. Instead of trying to mute the volume, help them channel that energy into learning and creativity.
Remember, it’s not about excusing behavior but recognizing that sometimes your kid’s brain just sees the world with more colors and sounds. And honestly—who wouldn’t want that kind of vivid experience?
Why intensity isn’t an excuse for bad behavior
Intensity in gifted kids often gets mistaken for just “bad behavior,” but that’s a big oversimplification. Sure, they can be passionate and reactive, but intensity isn’t a free pass to skip responsibility.
Have you ever met someone who feels everything like it’s turned up to eleven? That’s intensity for you. But hey—feeling a lot doesn’t mean it’s okay to act out.
Here’s how to tell the difference:
- Emotional spikes mean your child experiences feelings at a higher volume, but they still need to learn self-control.
- Behavioral choices are separate from intensity—kids have to face consequences when they cross boundaries.
- Communication matters: Teach your child to express intense feelings with words, not actions.
Think of intensity like a wild horse: powerful but needing direction. Without guidance, it might bolt. But when channeled well, it can run freely and beautifully.
Honestly, parents often say, “I thought it was just the giftedness talking,” but ignoring behavior that hurts others doesn’t help. Heck, understanding intensity means balancing empathy with structure.
Separating giftedness from overexcitabilities myths
Giftedness and overexcitabilities often get lumped together, but they’re not the same thing. It’s easy to assume that all gifted kids have these heightened reactions, but that’s just a myth.
Did you know? About 20-30% of gifted kids show overexcitabilities, not all. So, it’s not a given or a requirement. Surprised?
How to spot the difference
- Giftedness usually means strong intellectual abilities like fast learning or problem-solving.
- Overexcitabilities are about emotional, sensory, or imaginative intensity — like feeling overwhelmed by noise or strong emotions.
- Some kids may be gifted without being intensely overexcitable at all.
Think of giftedness as the engine of a car, while overexcitabilities are like the turbocharger—one can run the engine without it, but turbo adds extra speed and intensity.
I thought—wait, maybe not every intense kid is gifted, or every gifted kid is intense. This mix-up makes it harder for parents and teachers to give the right support.
So, it’s worth taking a step back and seeing your child as their whole self—not just a stereotype. Heck, that clarity alone can change everything.
Wrapping up
Overexcitabilities are a part of many gifted kids’ experiences, but they don’t define them completely. Understanding the difference between intensity and behavior helps us give better support without making excuses.
Remember, every child’s brain is wired a little differently — some with more volume turned up. That’s not a flaw; it’s just part of who they are. Helping them channel that energy is key.
So, take a moment today to reflect on your own reactions. Hey, it’s okay to feel a little overwhelmed sometimes — maybe just breathe and remind yourself you’re doing your best. Small steps matter.
FAQ — your questions about overexcitabilities and giftedness answered
What exactly are overexcitabilities in gifted kids?
They’re intense responses to emotions, sensations, or thoughts that some gifted kids experience more strongly than others.
How can I tell if my child’s behavior is due to overexcitabilities?
Look for strong emotional reactions or deep curiosity, but remember, behavior still needs guidance and boundaries.
Can overexcitabilities be a sign of giftedness?
Sometimes yes, but not all gifted kids have overexcitabilities, and not all overexcitable kids are gifted.
Is it okay to excuse bad behavior because of intensity?
No. Intensity explains feelings but doesn’t excuse actions. Kids still need to learn how to manage their behavior.
Should I seek professional help if my child shows strong overexcitabilities?
Consider it if their intensity impacts daily life; experts can offer strategies tailored to your child’s needs.
How can parents support kids with overexcitabilities at home?
Encourage open communication, create calming routines, and help them channel energy into creative or learning activities.
A certified Heal Your Life® Coach with 20+ years in education and emotional development. Supports gifted teens in navigating anxiety, perfectionism, and identity challenges, while equipping parents with practical tools for lasting transformation. Sessions blend emotional healing, mindset mastery, and strategic empowerment.
